Her Legacy |
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| Direct Answers from Wayne and Tamara |
I am a happily married woman with school-aged children. I am also
in love with "Steven," a man I knew back in college. Though there
was undeniable magnetism between us when we met, I was already
dating the man I later married. Steven and I had only a couple of
nights of dynamic passion.
After graduation, we had no contact until the Internet came along.
For four years we've emailed and talked as lovers. We exchanged
sexual fantasies about each other and even a few explicit photos.
We live less than two hours apart and have seen each other twice
since college, both times in professional settings. He is
something of a public figure.
My husband knows Steven and I email and speak on the phone.
Steven's wife is totally unaware. I love my husband. He treats me
like a queen, and my marriage is the envy of all my friends.
Steven and I don't want to rip everyone's life apart, but it is
difficult to have so little contact with someone you love so
deeply.
Recently I explained to Steven how much it bothers me that he is
living a lie. Our dilemma is if he tells his wife he also loves
me, she will surely leave him and take the children. If he fudges
and says we are friends, she will insist we stop talking.
Now Steven has decided to limit our email to one letter a month.
This is part of what he wrote: "Please don't call. It's too hard to
talk about this. In total honesty, hearing your voice is a
problem. I'm asking you this as a friend: don't call.
"I lay in bed staring at the ceiling all night. I'm comparing my
wife to you and getting angry she is not you. I recognize you and
I are soul mates.
"Fourteen years ago we might have pulled it off, not now. Children
change everything. I love you. And I love my wife. But I love my
children more (and I know you understand this). Over the weekend I
envisioned what I would have to say to my kids if this ever came
out.
"The phone rang twice since I started typing. I assume it's you.
I'm sorry not to answer, but I have to insist we stop talking. I
love you. It's amazing to me you would doubt that. My feelings,
both noble and carnal, aren't going to change, but I can't let them
ruin our lives."
I'm afraid Steven's wife will find out about us. I wish he could
at least tell her we are friends, even if he leaves out that we
love each other. It's such a mess. We're constantly longing for
each other, and one email a month doesn't satisfy our desires. Any
advice?
Winnie
Winnie, nitroglycerin is a highly explosive liquid. It is so
unstable the slightest jolt can cause it to spontaneously detonate.
That is what Steven thinks you are. Nitroglycerin.
His stomach does flips each time the phone rings. He has night
sweats and makes bargains with God. He is begging you not to ruin
him.
You're not afraid his wife will find out about you. You are
hopeful. And you have all those letters and pictures. We doubt
anything we say will change what you are about to do, but we are
curious about what happens. Let us know how many city blocks are
leveled, how many lives are destroyed, when you go off.
Alfred Nobel made a fortune turning nitroglycerin into dynamite, a
useful form of the explosive. When a newspaper mistakenly ran his
obituary before he died, Nobel realized he would be remembered for
creating a weapon of destruction. So he created the Nobel Prizes,
forever linking his name with peaceful achievements in areas like
science and medicine. What do you want your name to be linked
with?
Wayne & Tamara
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Wayne and Tamara Mitchell are the authors of YOUR OTHER HALF.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or
e-mail: DirectAnswers@echowork.com.
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